Letting Go at 10,000 Feet: Parenting Adult Children and the Art of Trust Off the Beaten Path

This summer, I travelled to Mexico with my family; a trip filled with warm beaches, vibrant culture, mouthwatering tacos, and unforgettable adventures. We saw (some type of) rays glide through crystal-clear water, spotted gigantic turtles up close, and tasted guacamole in as many places as we possibly could. We had countless memorable moments. But the most unforgettable wasn’t the ocean breeze or the cobblestone streets. It happened in the sky.

My 21-year-old son announced casually one afternoon that he was booking skydiving.

There’s something uniquely humbling about watching your child, now an adult, choose to leap out of a plane. It’s the kind of decision that brings every instinct as a parent roaring back to life. 

The impulse to protect. The silent, nervous pleading: Please don’t get hurt. Please don’t die. And yet, you know that this moment, this exact moment, is what parenting an adult child is all about: the slow and necessary art of letting go.

The Paradox of Parenting Grown Children

Psychologically speaking, parenting doesn’t stop when a child turns 18. But it does transform. The dynamics shift from authority to influence, from oversight to trust. And for many parents, this is the hardest part.

We’ve spent years safeguarding our children’s lives.  We’ve buckled seat belts, checked homework, monitored who they spend time with. These actions once felt like love. But love, as our children grow, begins to look less like control and more like acceptance. Less like protection and more like permission.

Dropping my son off at the hangar for his skydiving was a visceral metaphor for this psychological shift. He was confident. Calm. Ready. And I—well, I was proud, but also a little (okay a LOT) terrified.

Autonomy, Identity, and Uncertainty

Young adults are in a critical stage of development. They’re figuring out who they are and where they fit in the world, and this process often involves choices that stretch a parent’s comfort zone, sometimes literally into the sky!

At Off the Beaten Path Psychology in Calgary, Cochrane, and Airdrie, we work with parents who are navigating this exact shift. It’s incredibly common to feel disoriented, sad, or even anxious during this stage. Trust me, you're not alone if you’re wondering: What’s my role now? Am I still needed? How do I support them without overstepping?

Through counselling and coaching, we help parents redefine their connection with adult children. By exploring healthy boundaries, managing fears, and developing confidence in this new stage of relationship. Just as young adults are building their identity, parents are too. By learning to parent in a new way, with more trust and less control.

Grieving the “Child,” Embracing the Adult

What no one tells you about parenting adult children is that there is a kind of grief involved—the quiet mourning of a role you once played. Your child no longer needs you in the same way. And while that’s natural and healthy, it can leave a hole where your daily purpose used to be.

But there is also deep joy. If we can move through the grief, we get to witness the becoming of a whole, autonomous human being. We get to have real conversations, to watch them navigate life with courage and creativity. We get to stand back, marvelling, not because they are doing what we told them to do, but because they are choosing for themselves.

At Off the Beaten Path, we create space for parents to process this emotional shift. It’s not about getting over the grief, but about moving with it, growing alongside your child as they spread their wings.

Trusting the Process

When my son’s text finally came "I’m still alive", I’ve never felt so relieved, or so humbled by what it means to let go. This is the emotional tightrope of parenting adult children: walking the line between fear and faith, influence and independence.

At that moment, I realized this wasn’t just his leap. It was mine, too. A leap of faith. A letting go of fear. A quiet trust in the adult he’s becoming.

Parenting adult children is not about holding on. It’s about holding space. It’s about being a steady presence while giving them room to soar, even when the ground feels impossibly far away.

You're Not Alone in This; At Off the Beaten Path, We Can Support You

Whether you're feeling proud, scared, lost, or all of the above, this stage of parenting is complex, and it deserves attention. If you’re in Calgary, Cochrane, Airdrie, or anywhere nearby, the team at Off the Beaten Path Psychology is here to support you.

Together, we can explore what it means to parent with openness, boundaries, and trust. We can help you re-anchor your role and find confidence in the journey—not just your child’s, but yours, too.

Final Thoughts

Letting go isn’t a single act, but it’s a practice. And sometimes, the best thing you can do is watch, cheer, and trust… even if they decide to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.

To learn more about how Off the Beaten Path Psychology can support you through life transitions and family changes, visit us at www.obpwellness.com. We’re here to walk beside you, wherever your path leads (....unless it involves stepping out of an airplane!)