Back-to-School Anxiety Series, Part 2: A Guide for Students and Families
This blog post was written by Juanita Burchby-Martin, Registered Psychologist
The transition back to school is a significant life milestone for students of all ages. During these transitions, it is natural for stress to increase as the brain and body adapt to shifting expectations, social environments, and daily rhythms. It is important to recognize that a student can experience a complex mixture of emotions simultaneously, excitement for social reconnection can coexist with academic anxiety or grief for the ending of summer.
These reactions are normal, and establishing predictable routines helps the brain regain a sense of safety and regulation.
The Science Behind the Strategies
Understanding how these tools work helps families use them with confidence. Many of our strategies are based on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which looks at the "cognitive triangle", the continuous interaction between our thoughts, feelings, and actions. Simply put, these three elements are all connected. When we change what we do, like using a breathing exercise or choosing a helpful action even when feeling unmotivated, we can shift how we feel and calm down racing thoughts.
CBT is effective because it breaks the cycle of worry. By focusing on a specific action, we give the brain proof that we are safe. This process works because of neuroplasticity, which is the brain’s remarkable ability to grow, change, and reorganize itself with practice. Every time a student uses a grounding tool, they are strengthening the brain’s ability to find calm and weakening the pathways associated with fight-or-flight reactions. With practice, students learn that a tough moment doesn't need to trigger a big, stressed reaction.
The Power of the "Power Song"
Music is a fantastic tool for resetting the brain. A "power song", a track that reliably helps your student feel better—acts like a sensory reset button. It engages different parts of the brain simultaneously, helping to quiet the "noise" of worry and providing a steady, rhythmic anchor that helps the nervous system settle down. Think of it as a musical shortcut to feeling more grounded and calm.
When choosing the right song, look for a track that makes your body feel calmer, connects you to a memory of safety or strength, has a predictable rhythm, and is one you never get tired of.
How to Use Your Power Song for Back to School:
Notice the stress signal — tight chest, racing thoughts, or feeling overwhelmed.
Pause and play your power song (use headphones or play quietly through your phone).
Pair it with grounding — keep your feet on the floor and take slow breaths.
Let the rhythm regulate your breath — inhale for 4 beats, exhale for 6.
Let the lyrics anchor your thoughts — focus on the words instead of the worry.
Introducing the Power Song
The best time to introduce this tool is when your child is calm and relaxed, not when they are already feeling overwhelmed. Explain that the power song acts like a "reset button" for
their brain that they can use whenever they need to find their calm. Spend some time together listening to a few potential tracks and help them choose one that makes them feel strong, safe, or happy.
Once a song is chosen, practice using it during a neutral moment, perhaps while playing or relaxing at home, so that the process feels familiar and easy to access when they really need it during the school day.
Early Elementary — Ages 5–7
Young children often benefit from simple, concrete strategies that involve their senses and body.
Name the feeling: “I’m feeling worried/excited/sad right now.”
5-finger breathing: Trace each finger slowly while breathing in and out.
5-4-3-2-1 grounding: Notice 5 things you see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste.
Comfort routine: Practice the same morning steps each day—wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast, pack up, and leave.
Helpful thought: “I can feel nervous and still have a good day.”
Middle Elementary — Ages 8–10
At this age, children can begin connecting thoughts, feelings, body sensations, and behaviours.
Check in: “What am I feeling? Where do I feel it in my body?”
Thought check: Ask, “Is this thought a fact, a worry, or a possibility?”
Balanced thinking: Replace “School is going to be terrible” with “I’m nervous because it’s a new school year, but I can handle one day at a time.”
Ground through the senses: Notice the feet on the floor, the chair supporting the body, and three things happening in the room.
Create a predictable evening routine: Prepare clothes, backpack, lunch, and anything needed for the morning.
Preteens — Ages 11–13
Preteens may experience stronger social and academic worries while also wanting greater independence.
STOP: Stop, take a breath, observe what you're thinking and feeling, then proceed with the next helpful step.
Challenge anxious thoughts: “What evidence supports this thought? What evidence doesn't?”
5-4-3-2-1 grounding: Use the senses to reconnect with the present moment rather than getting caught up in “what if” thoughts.
Box breathing: Breathe in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4.
Break worries into manageable steps: Instead of thinking about the entire school year, focus on “What do I need to do this morning?”
Build independence through routine: Let the student help establish their own bedtime, morning, homework, and preparation routines.
Teens — Ages 14–18
Teenagers may experience anxiety around grades, friendships, identity, workload, expectations, or changes in their future.
Notice the thought: “I’m having the thought that I won’t be able to handle this.”
Reality-check: “What is within my control right now?”
Grounding through breathing: Try slow breathing with a longer exhale to help settle the nervous system.
Orient to the present: Name where you are, what day it is, and what you need to do next.
Use behavioural activation: When anxiety or low mood makes it tempting to withdraw, choose one small action that moves you toward your routine—shower, eat, attend class, go for a walk, or connect with someone.
Create a realistic routine: Prioritize consistent sleep, meals, movement, school responsibilities, downtime, and social connection rather than aiming for perfection.
A message for students and families:
You don't have to feel completely ready for school to begin. Feeling excited, sad, nervous, hopeful, or overwhelmed can all be part of a normal transition.
The goal isn't to eliminate uncomfortable emotions. Instead, CBT strategies can help students notice their thoughts and feelings, ground themselves in the present, and choose their next helpful step.
A predictable routine can make that process easier. Preparing backpacks the night before, returning to a consistent sleep schedule, planning mornings, and gradually re-establishing school-day rhythms can give the brain and body time to adjust.
Conclusion: Moving Forward with Confidence
The goal of using these evidence-based strategies is not to eliminate all discomfort, but to provide students with the agency to navigate it. By combining predictable routines with active grounding techniques and the neurological support of music, families can create a supportive environment for this transition. Remember: one day at a time, one breath at a time, and one step at a time.
References
Beck, J. S. (2020). Cognitive behavior therapy: Basics and beyond.
Doidge, N. (2007). The brain that changes itself.
Thaut, M. H., & Hoemberg, V. (2014). Handbook of neurologic music therapy.
This blog was written by Juanita Burchby-Martin, Registered Psychologist | Off the Beaten Path Psychology and Wellness | Airdrie, Alberta
At Off the Beaten Path Psychology, we provide counselling and therapy services to individuals, couples, and families in Airdrie, Calgary, and Cochrane, Alberta. Our team supports anxiety, burnout, relationship challenges, and trauma recovery. Contact us today to learn more about how we can support your mental health journey.