What Leads to Burnout (And Why It's Not Your Fault)

You're dragging yourself to work. You wake up exhausted. You're cynical about something you once cared about. And you're thinking "Why can't I enjoy my kids?" or "Why am I struggling so much?" turning it inward like something is broken.

Here's what nobody tells you: burnout isn't about you being weak or not trying hard enough. It's a crisis in your relationship with work. It's a systems issue, not a personal failing.

What Burnout Actually Is

According to Michael Leiter, who's spent decades researching this alongside Christina Maslach (who coined the term), burnout has three components:

Exhaustion that shows up week after week before your day even begins. Cynicism, where you lose enthusiasm for work you once cared about. And a reduced sense of accomplishment, where nothing you do feels like it matters.

Real burnout is all three together. Not one. All three.

Burnout Is Not Depression

This matters. Burnout is not a mental illness. The WHO classifies it as an occupational phenomenon, not a medical diagnosis. The problem isn't inside you. It's the gap between who you are and what your work situation demands.

That's actually good news because it means the solution involves changing something about your actual work, not just "fixing yourself."

The Values Mismatch

One of the biggest risk factors for burnout is a values mismatch. When what you believe in doesn't line up with what your organization actually supports (not what they say they support, what they actually spend money on), that contradiction is serious.

You became a teacher to help kids grow but there's a greater push towards assessment rather than intervention. You became a nurse to provide compassionate care but you're drowning in charting and dealing with ratios that make good care impossible. The needs are greater than ever, but the resources keep shrinking. You went into your field for the meaning but you're managing systems that have nothing to do with why you cared in the first place.

That gap between your values and reality is exhausting in a way vacations can't fix.

The Gendered Experience (And the Invisible Workload)

Women tend to report exhaustion more readily. Men are more likely to report cynicism. But here's what's underneath: women carry disproportionate invisible labor. The mental load. The household management. The emotional labor at work and at home.

You're not just doing your job. You're managing everybody else's needs. You're holding all the details. And it compounds.

Then you start thinking "Why can't I enjoy my kids?" or "Why am I struggling so much?" and you turn it inward. But that's the exhaustion talking. That's your nervous system saying: there's nothing left in the tank.

The research is clear: this invisible workload impairs decision-making, affects memory, and depletes emotional resources. It's not weakness. It's an actual cognitive and emotional load that affects how you function.

And we see it all the time at Off the Beaten Path. Women particularly come to us recognizing this pattern, realizing that the work they're doing doesn't align with who they are or what they believed they'd be doing. They carry the invisible load at home and at work, and somewhere along the way, they've lost touch with their actual values.

Check Your Values: Are You Living in Alignment?

The book "Designing Your Life" by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans suggests writing down what you believe work should be and what you believe life should be. Then check: does your actual life match those values?

Say you value deep connection with your family and want to be present with your kids. But your work demands 50+ hours a week. You're checking email at night. Your actual life doesn't match your life view.

That's not a personal failing. That's a values mismatch. And according to Leiter, that's one of the core causes of burnout.

What You Can Actually Do About It

Here's the hard truth: you cannot meditate or vacation your way out of burnout. Those things help, but they don't fix the problem if your work situation hasn't changed. You go back to the same job and the burnout returns.

Something has to actually change about how you work.

Ideally, you'd have a conversation with your employer. But not every workplace is safe for that conversation.

If yours isn't, try what Michael Leiter calls "stealth job crafting." Track what energizes you and what drains you. Figure out your good days. Then, quietly, shift your job a bit. Spend more time on what you like, less on what drains you. This makes things more bearable now and teaches you what you actually want in your next job.

Sometimes the answer is finding a different job altogether.

Where EMDR Comes In

When you're in chronic burnout, your nervous system is dysregulated. You're stuck in either hyperarousal (constant anxiety) or hypoarousal (numbness and cynicism).

EMDR can help process the exhaustion and the negative self-beliefs that come with it. It can shift you from "Something is wrong with me" to "My system is overwhelmed and that makes sense." It can help you reconnect with your values and what actually matters to you.

The Bottom Line

Burnout is real. It shows up in healthcare, education, social work, any field where people care deeply. And it's not a personal failing.

If you're experiencing it, start with clarity. Get honest about what's working and what's not. Look at your values. See where there's misalignment. Make a change, whether that's through conversation with your employer, stealth job crafting, or finding a different job.

If you need support processing the exhaustion or reconnecting with your values, we're here. EMDR can be powerful for this work.

You don't have to figure this out alone.

Resources

"The Burnout Challenge" by Michael Leiter and Christina Maslach

"Designing Your Life" by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans

Maslach Burnout Inventory (MBI)

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At Off the Beaten Path Psychology, we provide counselling and therapy services to individuals, couples, and families in Airdrie, Calgary, and Cochrane, Alberta. Our team supports anxiety, burnout, relationship challenges, and trauma recovery. Contact us today to learn more about how we can support your mental health journey.